7 of The Weirdest Things You Can Buy With Crypto

Cryptocurrencies are the gateway to a global decentralized ecosystem where users have complete fiscal autonomy to transact with whomever they choose for whatever they want.

Keeping this in mind, it’s no surprise that what people choose to buy and sell under the anonymity of public keys is rather strange.

Here are a few interesting purchase options we dug up:

1) Lap Dances:

In case you find throwing $1 bills demeaning, at the Legends Room in Vegas, you can always tip your dancers in Bitcoin.

For those who have not heard of it, the Legends Room boasts exotic entertainers dressed in luxury designer clothing. They dancers are now able to accept tips from patrons in the form of digital currency with QR codes strategically placed via temporary tattoos. They went on to say:

"The Legends Room adult entertainer-branded Bitcoin ATMs are also located throughout the 15,000-square foot facility located less than a mile from the famous Las Vegas Strip, where guests are able to securely purchase members-only status at The Legends Room on the Bittrex exchange."

Lap dances, dark rooms and QR coded tattoos conveniently placed in sensitive areas.. sounds like a great way to lose all your Bitcoin in one session.

I think I’ll just stick with throwing cash.

2) Hitmen

Back in the “good old days” of the Dark web, there used to be an anonymous online marketplace called Silk Road. Bitcoin was used on Silk Road to purchase pretty much any good or service you’d get arrested for even mentioning at an airport.

It was also used for hiring Hitmen; because whenever you need to make someone disappear, make sure you pay for it using a traceable currency on an open and immutable ledger.

Fortunately, the authorities have cracked down on deep web markets offering Hitmen for hire, presumably leading to arrests for those caught in the act of transacting, and sleepless nights for others whose “10,000 BTC to get rid of my neighbor problem” is still solidified on the blockchain.

3) Butt lifts and liposuction

Yes, a plastic surgery business called BodySculpt now accepts Bitcoin.

Because nothing says wannabe Instagram model more than some guy or girl who spent all day mining Bitcoin and now would rather use it to make their butt bigger.

This is either a sad attempt to capitalize on a trend, or the worse case of target marketing since everything on this list

Just make sure you run away if they only accept Monero.

4) Funerals

In what looks like another failed attempt to appeal to millennials, Crescent Tide is accepting Bitcoin.

Is there any reason why someone wouldn’t just pay for this with fiat money?

The only one I can think of is if I tried to fake my death to collect insurance money and didn’t want people finding out I paid for my own funeral (Crescent Tide might be unto something..)

5) Mammoth Tusks

For just 23.24 BTC (~$175,000) you can legally purchase Ivory tusks from an extinct wooly mammoth

(Translation: I’m trying to sell Ivory tusks from a healthy adult elephant I illegal poached last week and I need a simple sales pitch to get this off my hands before the authorities raid my house).

6) A Doge sweatshirt

To put that in perspective, that’s 0.0078 BTC, or 16,480 Doge Coins (if you wait a couple months you’ll be able to tell your friends you bought a sweatshirt for 1 million Doge coins).

7) Accounting advice

PWC, the accounting firm no one really cared about until they screwed up last years Oscars by handing Warren Beatty the wrong envelop for Best Picture, is now accepting Bitcoin for advisory services.

We’ll know how bad their brand took a hit if they decide to launch an ICO later this year.

Besides, asking an accounting firm where I should store my crypto to avoid paying taxes is like asking a Blockbuster Store how to set up my Netflix account.

Conclusion

These 7 Items are really just scratching the surface, but are an interesting example of the weird evolution of the crypto market, and how far we’ve come from using Bitcoin to buy drugs and hitmen, to now buying sweatshirts, funeral services, and accounting advice.

As amusing as it is to see brick and mortar businesses jump on the crypto hype train, it’s also a great sign that mainstream culture is slowly embracing Blockchain technology and the utility of a decentralized currency in everyday life.